How I Became Snake Brothers with Matt Groening and John Stevenson
Posted by davidenzo in lifeFelix, who is a buddy of mine, and I went over to Hollywood to this Thai restaurant which is pretty popular in Los Angeles. It was just like any other dinner we’ve had there, walk in… get greeted by Jazz and her staff, etc. Well this small establishment is frequented by alot of people in the movie and music industry, surprisingly for such a hole in the wall place. Anyways we pull up a seat order the usual: steamed mussels in green sauce, duck salad, giant prawns with red sauce, and two rounds of Singha. Well on the table next to us we see Simpsons creator Matt Groening and a few of his co-workers who usually are there at least once a week choppin it up (the shit that they say around the table is another story in itself). So we’re enjoying our food and discussing our Fantasy Football rosters when Matt Groening turns around towards us:
Matt: “Hey guys– you want some Snake Wine?”
Us: “Excuse me?”
Matt: “Here show them the bottle” [hands bottle to the server]
This is where our server comes over holding a wine bottle with two fingers, kind of like how a man holds a dirty diaper. Same facial expressions too. Low and behold sitting in front of us is a clear glass bottle with a cobra and garden snakes circling around inside.
Me: “You down?”
Felix: “Idunno bro, thats kind of intense.”
Me: “Fuck it, I’m doing it”
Felix: “Alright…”
Us: “Two shot glasses please”
Felix: “Oh god, this shit smells like snakes ass”
Me: “Idunno, theres this kind of sweet smell. Like lychee”
We turn to John Stevenson, creator of Kung Fu Panda, and ask if he wants a shot.
John: “Umm.. you guys first.”
Me: “Ready?”
Felix: “Yea..”
Us: “Gan Bai!”
I kill my shot and Felix could only stomach half of his.
John: “What’s it taste like?”
Me: “Snakey”
Felix: “Like rubbing alcohol, herbs, and snake”
John: “What’s snake taste like?”
Me: “Idunno.. I’ve never tasted snake but I’m pretty sure thats what it would taste like”
Felix: “So, Serene [waitress], why do they drink this?”
Serene: “Impotence. It’s supposed to make you strong in bed”
[Pause]
Felix: “I feel it working… “
Me: “Wow this has to be one of the most gangster drink ever– Here John try some”
Felix: “You want a new shot glass?”
John: “No I’m sure whatever this is kills ALL bacteria”
I see him hesitate so I tell him “C’mon.. Do it for the Panda”
John: “This is god awful.. Hey at least if we run into each other we’ll have a special bond. We’re snake brothers.”
Basically if you ever run across this concoction, be warned that the content is straight up moon shine. I can’t promise that it will give you the vitality of 1,000 gorillas or that it will cure your rheumatism, but I can promise that you will feel like as hard as a Saigon thug [no homo].
